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Active, Respectful, Collaborative Couples Therapy

Resolve your relationship issues and deepen your connection in a supportive and safe space.

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Dr. Bruce Chalmer
Couples Therapist

Dr. Chalmer specializes in working with couples. He brings to this work a wide-ranging curiosity and intelligence, an ability to connect with people, and a passion for helping people live happier, healthier lives. 

Learn more about couples sessions with Dr. Chalmer here.

Get Unstuck in Your Relationship

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learn more about Dr. Chalmer's books

What Do We Talk About In Couples Therapy?

Whatever issues you may bring to therapy, be it infidelity, sexual issues, parenting concerns, or any other kind of relationship problem, Dr. Chalmer will help the two of you get past blame and find healing.

Check out Dr. Chalmer’s books, podcast, videos, and blog to learn more about how he works with you about a wide range of issues, including sex (and how to go from plain old sex to good sex to sacred sex), marriage, faith, cheating and healing from affairs, forgiveness, communication, aging, cross-dressing, porn, and many more topics.

LEARN MORE ABOUT COUPLES SESSIONS
Erotic charge is not just when you’re having sex. It’s like, when you’re doing the dishes, and there’s this little sense there that any moment you could just fall into each other’s arms, and you just don’t happen to be doing that at the moment. The attraction is there—it’s almost palpable.
From Our Podcast“Plugging in the Erotic Charge”
What stable couples tend to do is avoid rocking the boat, because stability is important, and anxiety is a miserable feeling. But intimacy often requires raising anxiety. And thus begins what I’ve called the death spiral for passion in a couple: to avoid threatening stability, they stop risking intimacy.
From Dr. Chalmer's BookIt's Not About Communication
How you’re communicating is a consequence of what you’re communicating, and that’s a function of a lot more than just communication.
From Dr. Chalmer's BookIt's Not About Communication
Trying to follow communication rules when you’re not doing well won’t make you do well. In fact, when a couple isn’t doing well, they find it impossible to follow the rules. By way of analogy, ever notice how Rafael Nadal grunts loudly whenever he hits the tennis ball? Guess what? Grunting when you hit the ball won’t make you play like Rafa.
From Dr. Chalmer's BookIt's Not About Communication
A lack of intimacy becomes destabilizing. If stability provides the roots for a relationship, intimacy provides the energy for growth.
From Dr. Chalmer's BookReigniting the Spark
Symptoms of a relationship deprived of intimacy can include affairs, sudden departures, depression in one or both parties, substance abuse, seemingly pointless arguments, and general relationship malaise.
From Dr. Chalmer's BookIt's Not About Communication

Featured Podcasts

Pensive woman

Betrayal and Forgiveness

April 12, 2024

What is betrayal? Why is it so painful? And how do you recover from the shock, get past the anger, and figure out how to move on? In this episode we talk about the kinds of betrayal Bruce encounters in his work with couples. It’s often infidelity, but there are other sorts of betrayal as

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Marisa Flood

Conflict to Connection: An Interview with Marisa Flood

April 5, 2024

How can you turn conflict into connection? Our guest in this episode, Marisa Flood, is a relationship coach who specializes in helping couples learn the skills they need to thrive. Marisa’s website is https://conflict2connection.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you

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Dene Logan

Reclaiming the Masculine and Feminine Within: An Interview with Dené Logan

March 29, 2024

How can we reclaim the healthy masculine and feminine aspects we each have within us? And how does reclaiming those aspects help couples? Our guest in this episode, Dené Logan, uses her understanding of depth psychology, informed by her own experience, to help couples along the path to more fulfilling relationships. Dené’s website is https://denelogan.com/,

Read More »
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