Can You Forgive Someone Who Raped You?

What are the limits of forgiveness? Can you forgive even the worst sort of violations? I (Bruce) have worked with many people who are struggling with this question. In part, it depends on what you mean by “forgive.” Does forgiveness have to imply that you’ll try to restore your relationship? Or might you forgive someone, but still not trust them? Could you see forgiveness as getting the poison out of you? Ann Lamott famously noted that not forgiving someone is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.

Along the way, we also talk about people getting canceled, trigger warnings, microaggressions—basically, a lot of stuff that might generate angry emails. Try to be kind, don’t panic, and have faith (our seven words) as you respond.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

For the audio-only version of this podcast, visit https://ctin7.com.

Betrayal and Forgiveness cover

Watch for Bruce’s book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Subscribe To Our Podcast

Amazon MusicApple PodcastsPodbeanTuneInSpotify
Scroll to Top

Sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter!

You’ll get a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life, as well as special subscriber-only content, relationship tips, and more!