Publicity about Dr. Chalmer

Making Sense of the Senseless: Affair Healing Podcast with Tim Tedder

Asking about meaning in suffering isn’t an attempt to minimize the agonizing pain that erupts after an affair. In fact, the pain deserves to be fully acknowledged. It’s real. It’s heavy. It matters. But this question also dares to look into the pain—and beyond it—to wonder whether anything good might eventually grow from such wreckage. Can we see the glimmer of hope? Our most significant growth is often born from our greatest struggles. That doesn’t make a bad thing good. But it does help us notice what’s good despite what’s bad.

Awaken Your Soul's Journey Podcast - Part 1

Join us for a profound conversation with psychologist and author Dr. Bruce Chalmer, who brings over 30 years of experience helping couples heal, grow, and reignite intimacy. We dive deep into the "Passion Paradox"—the essential but often overlooked balance between the safety of stability and the excitement of risk that can transform your relationship. In this episode, we explore how to stop seeing conflicts as problems and start viewing them as opportunities for profound growth and deeper connection. KEY TAKEAWAYS: ✅Understand the "Passion Paradox" and why your marriage needs both security and spontaneity. ✅Learn how to reframe arguments and disconnection as a path to a stronger bond. ✅Discover practical, actionable advice to apply these principles in your own relationship starting today.

Awaken Your Soul's Journey Podcast - Part 2

Is your marriage feeling more like a peaceful roommates situation than a passionate partnership? In this profound conversation, we welcome back psychologist and author Dr. Bruce Chalmer to explore how the very safety and stability we build can accidentally lead to a "passion death spiral." If you're struggling with emotional distance, feeling stuck in a rut, or wondering how to reconnect with your spouse, this episode offers a powerful new perspective. We dive into practical tools you can use today, including Dr. Chalmer's essential 7-word formula for relationship resilience: Be kind. Don’t panic. Have faith. In this episode, you will learn: ✅Why emotional disconnection in marriage can feel like depression and how to address it. ✅How to shift your perspective to break the cycle of blame and frustration. ✅The role of faith—not necessarily religious, but as a mindset of trust—in healing a marriage. ✅Practical steps to apply the "Be kind. Don’t panic. Have faith." framework in daily conflicts.

Awaken Your Soul's Journey Podcast

Can love survive betrayal? In today’s episode, I sit down with Dr. Bruce Chalmer, a psychologist with over 30 years of experience in couples therapy. We explore the most common challenges couples face from infidelity to lost intimacy, and uncover what it really takes to heal, rebuild trust, and grow closer. Bruce shares powerful insights on the difference between stability and intimacy, why men often resist therapy, and how couples can move past fear into faith. If you’ve ever wondered whether relationships can truly recover from pain, this conversation will open your eyes and heart.

Awaken Your Soul's Journey Podcast

Host Angela interviews Dr. Bruce Chalmer, a psychologist with over 30 years of experience in couples therapy. Dr. Chalmer has authored several books on relationships, including 'Betrayal and Forgiveness' and 'Reigniting the Spark.' The discussion covers Dr. Chalmer's background and his approach to therapy, including his seven-word formula: 'Be kind, don't panic, and have faith.' They delve into the concepts of grief, betrayal, forgiveness, and the process of moving forward after significant emotional pain. Angela and Dr. Chalmer emphasize the importance of having supportive people around during difficult times and finding a balance between obligations and personal healing.

Calming the Chaos podcast with Tracy Kenela

A substantial number of couples come to Bruce because major relationship betrayals have occurred Therapy is not a cookie cutter approach to healing relationships Dr. Bruce defines betrayal as: 1. Something big 2. The expectations you have in a certain relationship (i.e., spouses, family, co-workers) 3. Lies happen 4. Mistrust results Dr. Bruce’s Structure for Couples Therapy 1. First session: Understand why a couple wants to be together, and 2 sets of needs that need to be met a. Stability (Knowing how to keep the relationship stable, not pushing buttons) b. Intimacy (Being open and honest with the ability to tolerate anxiety rather than avoid it) 2. Lightbulbs will go off in the couple’s minds and they will see where intimacy and stability are compromised 3. Treatment goals are made, part of which is to increase both stability and intimacy 4. How will you know therapy is helping? Why do people betray each other? If intimacy is compromised, then people are more likely to betray each other The “Oh Shit” moment is when a person realizes that they have contributed to problems in the relationship Financial Betrayal examples: “I trusted you with something, and this trust that I gave you was not honored.” (Social Expectations, and types of Family betrayals) What do we do if we are the Betrayed or the Betrayer? Forgiveness 1. Forgive yourself 2. Forgive the betrayer 3. Forgive God (or, understand that betrayals do indeed happen) If you’re in a situation where you are still being hurt, it may not be safe for you to stay in the relationship If it’s a case of infidelity, they both need to restore / rebuild trust If a betrayal happens, the relationship as you knew it is not the same…and you can build a new and sometimes better relationship

Straight from the Source's Mouth Podcast

When someone you trust deeply hurts you in a way you never expected, how do you move forward? Dr. Bruce Chalmer, couples therapist and author, joins us to unravel the complex journey from betrayal to forgiveness. Dr. Chalmer challenges common misconceptions about forgiveness, offering a perspective that might surprise you: "Forgiveness is an inside job." Rather than focusing on whether to restore your relationship with someone who hurt you, true forgiveness is about your internal healing process. The conversation distinguishes between forgiveness and trust, making it clear that you can forgive someone without ever trusting them again. For those considering rebuilding trust after betrayal, Dr. Chalmer emphasizes the crucial role of accountability. Without genuine accountability from the person who caused harm, trust becomes virtually impossible to restore. We also explore how healthy relationships require balancing two fundamental needs: stability and intimacy. Stability provides security, while intimacy fuels growth and connection. As Dr. Chalmer explains, "Roots provide stability, but intimacy is the energy for growth." When couples sacrifice intimacy for too long in pursuit of stability, the relationship becomes vulnerable to betrayal as someone inevitably tries to "crack the sidewalk."

Couples Therapist: How to Feel Truly Alive in Your Relationship | Jeffrey van Leeuwen Podcast

After decades of guiding couples through their most challenging moments, Dr. Bruce Chalmer understands what truly brings relationships to life. With a deeply personal journey from statistics to psychology, Bruce discovered that helping couples navigate intimacy, stability, and the complexities of forgiveness wasn’t just a profession. It was a calling. In our conversation, Bruce explores profound insights on what makes relationships thrive or fail. He thoughtfully challenges common assumptions, offering the provocative question: “Do you feel alive in your relationship?” Bruce delves into why many couples drift apart, becoming roommates instead of romantic partners, and how they can rekindle lost connections. We also explore how infidelity, while deeply traumatic, can paradoxically create opportunities for renewed intimacy and trust. This episode is a meditation on the meaning of commitment, why marriage matters very deeply, and how embracing the discomfort of honesty can lead couples toward genuine fulfillment and emotional closeness.

"From Betrayal to Breakthrough" Podcast with Dr. Debi Silber

In this powerful episode, I’m joined by Dr. Bruce Chalmer—psychologist, author, and podcast host—for an in-depth discussion about betrayal, forgiveness, and the path to healing. Dr. Chalmer shares his deeply personal journey from pain to purpose, what drew him into clinical work with couples, and why betrayal demands a very different approach to healing. We talk about the distinction between guilt and shame, the stages of rebuilding trust, and how forgiveness is truly an inside job. If you’ve ever struggled with whether to stay, how to heal, or what it really takes to move forward, this episode will speak directly to your heart.

"Pulverizing the Patterns" Podcast with Jed Brotherson

Dr. Bruce Chalmer joins Certified Life Coach Jed Brotherson to create a new story about patterns we carry into our partnerships and why relationship success begins before the first date: https://pulverizingthepatterns.com/dr... How do you prepare yourself for a thriving relationship before you even get in one? Most of us have felt betrayal in one form or another; and because we assume, or may be programmed to believe, that forgiving someone is an automatic “reset” button that takes you right back where you started from, we may be reluctant to forgive, even when the forgiveness is for our own sake. Join Dr. Bruce Chalmer for this transformative conversation with Certified Life Coach Jed Brotherson and discover how taking a new view on navigating the messy, meaningful, and transformative terrain of relationships pulverizes the patterns that may keep you from deeper connection, emotional safety, and self-awareness. Tune in and discover Dr. Bruce Chalmer’s thoughts on: * How our unexamined patterns (from childhood, culture, or past relationships) affect what we look for in a partner * What can help you distinguish between someone who complements you vs. someone who simply feels familiar because of old patterns * Why two halves of a couple grow at different speeds emotionally and spiritually, and how to stay aligned through different stages of transformation * His framework “Be kind, don’t panic, and have faith” - and why faith in particular is essential to emotional intimacy * If you feel stuck with a partner who won’t engage in emotional work, what options you have - and why men in particular resist these options * And much, much more!

"Natalie Saves the World" Podcast with Natalie Hoke

How do you rebuild trust after betrayal? Can a relationship survive cheating—and even come back stronger? In this powerful episode of Natalie Saves the World: One Podcast at a Time, I talk to Dr. Bruce Chalmer and Judy Alexander—a couple who’s been married for over 21 years and co-host the "Couples Therapy in Seven Words" podcast. We explore what really happens when trust is broken in a relationship, and how couples can not only recover, but reconnect on a deeper level. 🔍 We discuss: -The difference between emotional vs. physical betrayals -Whether all betrayals are forgivable -The "seven words" that can help save relationships -Why couples crave both stability and excitement—and how they conflict -How healing is possible after cheating, and how infidelity can even bring couples closer together -What inspired their latest books

"Power of Man" Podcast with Rory Paquette

Here's what Rory said about this interview: "Dr. Bruce is the host of the podcast, "Couples Therapy in 7 Words." His books, all three of them, stress the idea that he lives by; "Be Kind, Don't Panic and Have Faith." Dr. Bruce talks about leading by example, why polyamory may not be the best idea, how most of us have actually been betrayed, and what forgiveness actually looks like. Why do men hate therapy? There may be a good reason. This was an incredible conversation with a remarkable man."

"Know More Know Less" Podcast with Michael Cecchin

Michael Cecchin's summary of our interview: "In today's episode, we discuss: -Understanding a partner's reluctance to go to therapy is crucial. -Success in therapy is not solely defined by couples staying together. -Most relationship problems are rooted in deeper emotional issues, not just communication. -Forgiveness is an internal process that can lead to emotional healing. -Trust must be rebuilt by both partners after betrayal. -Therapy can be likened to improv, requiring adaptability and openness. -Acceptance of reality is essential for personal growth and healing. -Forgiving oneself is the first step in the forgiveness process. -Recognizing that both partners are doing their best can foster understanding. -The journey of therapy is unpredictable and requires collaboration."

Empowered Relationship Podcast

Infidelity—it's a word that can send shockwaves through even the most stable relationships. In our tech-driven world, the boundaries and expectations surrounding loyalty and commitment seem more convoluted than ever. Without clear communication and defined agreements, even the most well-meaning partners can find themselves entangled in misunderstandings and unanticipated crises. In this episode, we dive deep into the complexity of infidelity within contemporary relationships. We explore the importance of having candid conversations about monogamy and other expectations with your partner, guided by insights from experienced relationship experts. By examining real-life scenarios and discussing therapeutic concepts such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), we aim to equip you with practical tools for handling betrayal. Additionally, we delve into the nuanced process of forgiveness, self-compassion, and the potential for growth and transformation that can arise from relationship challenges. Dr. Bruce Chalmer is a psychologist in Vermont who has been working with couples for over thirty years. Through his teaching, consulting, and books, his ideas have helped thousands of couples and their therapists. Together with his wife Judy Alexander, Dr. Chalmer hosts the podcast “Couples Therapy in Seven Words.” His most recent book is “Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again.”

"Top Self" podcast

I was interviewed on the "Top Self" podcast by the host, Shanenn Bryant. She notes: "In today's episode, I took full advantage of having the great couples therapist, Dr. Bruce Chalmer on and I asked some burning questions for you like: *How to get your partner to go to therapy when they don't want to *What's the first thing you would do if you were working with a couple with jealousy in the relationship *Why couples get it wrong when they say their biggest issue is communication. Bruce shares the idea that couples often choose stability over intimacy and this is what he calls the "death spiral" of passion in a relationship. I loved this topic as it just brings to light how often we push away our true authentic self because we are too afraid of what someone else, in this case our partner, might think. He also compares couples therapy to improv so you'll have to tune in to hear why."