Dr. Bruce Chalmer

Not Sure Whether to Keep Working On Your Relationship or Call It Quits?

Discernment helps you understand what kind of decision you’re facing, consider the possible paths forward, and make a decision on how to proceed.

You May Be Here Because...

One of you is seriously considering leaving
You keep going in circles without clarity
You feel pressure to decide but don’t feel ready
Counseling has helped somewhat, but you still feel uncertain
One partner wants to work harder while the other feels exhausted
You don’t want to make a life-changing decision impulsively

I often work with couples in this situation.

What Is Discernment?

Discernment is designed for couples where:

one partner is leaning toward ending the relationship,
and the other wants to preserve it.

Rather than immediately trying to solve relationship problems, the discernment approach focuses first on understanding:

what has happened in the relationship,
whether the problems are workable,
and what direction makes the most sense moving forward.

The goal is not to pressure anyone to stay together or separate.

The goal is greater clarity about what kind of decision you’re actually facing.

Two Ways to Get Started

Work with me directly

If you want a structured way to think through your situation, we can work together in couples sessions.

Start on your own

If you’re not ready for sessions — or want a way to begin independently — my self-paced video course Discernment: Keep Working On It, or Call It Quits? is designed for exactly this kind of situation. Click the button to learn more.

Questions?

Feel free to contact me with any questions you might have. I usually respond the same day.