fbpx
Facebook-f Google Instagram Youtube Linkedin

Click here to sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s Newsletter!

Active, Respectful, Collaborative Help for Couples

Resolve your relationship issues and deepen your connection in a supportive and safe space.

Telehealth appointments available now.

learn more

Dr. Bruce Chalmer
Help for Couples

Dr. Chalmer specializes in working with couples. He brings to this work a wide-ranging curiosity and intelligence, an ability to connect with people, and a passion for helping people live happier, healthier lives. 

Learn more about couples sessions with Dr. Chalmer here.

Sale! Save $5 on the paperback of Dr. Chalmer's latest book when you use this link:

Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again
Dr. Bruce Chalmer

Or buy the ebook or the audiobook here!

Buy Now from Amazon
learn more about Dr. Chalmer's books

What Do We Talk About In Couples Sessions?

Whatever issues you may bring to therapy, be it infidelity, sexual issues, parenting concerns, or any other kind of relationship problem, Dr. Chalmer will help the two of you get past blame and find healing.

Check out Dr. Chalmer’s books, podcast, videos, and blog to learn more about how he works with you about a wide range of issues, including sex (and how to go from plain old sex to good sex to sacred sex), marriage, faith, cheating and healing from affairs, forgiveness, communication, aging, cross-dressing, porn, and many more topics.

LEARN MORE ABOUT COUPLES SESSIONS
Betrayal isn’t just when someone hurts you. Betrayal is when someone important in your life hurts you when you assumed they would never hurt you that way. It’s a double-whammy: Not only are you hurt by what they did, but you’re also forced to question your own judgment. “I thought I knew you—who are you? And what other horrible surprises will happen next?”
from Dr. Chalmer's bookBetrayal and Forgiveness
Erotic charge is not just when you’re having sex. It’s like, when you’re doing the dishes, and there’s this little sense there that any moment you could just fall into each other’s arms, and you just don’t happen to be doing that at the moment. The attraction is there—it’s almost palpable.
From Our Podcast“Plugging in the Erotic Charge”
What stable couples tend to do is avoid rocking the boat, because stability is important, and anxiety is a miserable feeling. But intimacy often requires raising anxiety. And thus begins what I’ve called the death spiral for passion in a couple: to avoid threatening stability, they stop risking intimacy.
From Dr. Chalmer's BookIt's Not About Communication
How you’re communicating is a consequence of what you’re communicating, and that’s a function of a lot more than just communication.
From Dr. Chalmer's BookIt's Not About Communication
Trying to follow communication rules when you’re not doing well won’t make you do well. In fact, when a couple isn’t doing well, they find it impossible to follow the rules. By way of analogy, ever notice how Rafael Nadal grunts loudly whenever he hits the tennis ball? Guess what? Grunting when you hit the ball won’t make you play like Rafa.
From Dr. Chalmer's BookIt's Not About Communication
A lack of intimacy becomes destabilizing. If stability provides the roots for a relationship, intimacy provides the energy for growth.
From Dr. Chalmer's BookReigniting the Spark
Symptoms of a relationship deprived of intimacy can include affairs, sudden departures, depression in one or both parties, substance abuse, seemingly pointless arguments, and general relationship malaise.
From Dr. Chalmer's BookIt's Not About Communication

Featured Podcasts

Gregory Diehl

A Hopeless Romantic and the Masculine Ideal: An Interview with Gregory Diehl

January 24, 2025

https://youtu.be/wiaJd9MOoUk Our guest in this episode, Gregory Diehl, describes himself as a Romantic Idealist, which, he explains is a fundamentally hopeless position since perfection is impossible. And he remains an idealist even as his own love life hasn’t yet come to fruition. We talk about his ideas about the complementarity of masculinity and femininity, and

Read More »
Ranting man

Diversity, Diagnosis, and Nonsense: When Ideas Turn into Ideologies

January 10, 2025

https://youtu.be/hwj62Vz95cY Okay, I (Bruce) get to rant in this one. Bring on the arguments! How does the good idea of diversity turn into the ideology that makes universities insist that candidates for faculty positions sign loyalty oaths? How does the good idea of understanding the experience of trans people turn into the ideology that says

Read More »
Scroll to Top

Sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter!

You’ll get a free download of Dr. Chalmer’s booklet Seven Words to Jump-Start Your Love Life, as well as special subscriber-only content, relationship tips, and more! 

Do you need help overcoming relationship challenges?

I’m here to help! Make the first step to improve your life by reaching out today.
Request An Appointment