Stuck in relationship limbo?
Should you keep working on your relationship—or call it quits?
If you’ve been going back and forth for months—or even years—you already know how painful that can be.
You need to get unstuck.
In the free video below (about 8 minutes) I share some ideas I’ve developed over my 30 years of helping couples in that situation.
Of course, I can’t tell you whether to stay or leave.
But the ideas in the video can give you a framework—a way to think about your situation that can get you out of that awful paralysis.
Watch the video below to find out more.
I hope you found the video helpful. You might also want to check the “Free Resources” tab in the menu on this page for other videos and articles.
If you’d like additional help—and as I said in the video, it certainly makes sense that you might want some additional help—here are two other options.
Work with me directly
If you’d like to work with me, as a couple or individually, I offer telehealth sessions.
Work on your own with a self-paced video course
If you’re not ready for sessions, or prefer to work on your own schedule, my self-paced video courses could be helpful.
The course I refer to in the video is “Discernment: Keep Working On It, or Call It Quits?”
If you’re ready to begin, you can start the course now—just press the button below. You’ll go to the course page at Thinkific.
You can also check out other self-paced courses I offer at the “Video Courses” tab in the menu on this page.
Or, if you’d like to learn more about what you’ll be learning, just keep reading.
What You'll Learn
Chapter 1
Learn the difference between deal-breakers and growing pains, and why this distinction is vital.
Chapter 2
Take a deep dive into your relationship, assessing both strengths and problems.
Chapter 3
Learn about the three options, and determine which way to go based on your assessment.
Chapter 4
If you’ve decided to work on the relationship, get guidance on how to do that. And even if you’ve decided to simply wait and see what happens, get guidance on how you might do that productively.
Chapter 5
If you’ve decided to separate, learn how to handle legal and mediation proposals without emotional flooding, navigate the “Dumper vs. Dumpee” roles safely, and co-parent across two households without using your children as toxic conduits.
If this approach feels right to you, you can begin the course now. Or keep reading to learn more about how it works.
What this course will not do:
- It won’t tell you whether you should stay or leave.
- It won’t pressure you toward reconciliation.
- It won’t pressure you to split up.
- It won’t assume your relationship can—or should—be saved.
- It won’t promise certainty.
What it will do is give you a structured framework for thinking more clearly about one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face.
And with that clarity, you’ll be able to choose one of the three options—to work on it, to wait and see, or to separate—with dignity and confidence.
DR. BRUCE CHALMER
For more than thirty years I’ve worked with couples facing some of the hardest decisions of their lives.
I’ve learned that most people don’t need someone to tell them whether to stay or leave.
They need a way to think more clearly about what they’re actually facing.
That realization led me to develop the framework you’ll learn in this course.
- Psychologist specializing in couples therapy for 30+ years
- Author of four books on relationships
- Thousands of hours working with couples in crisis
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this course for individuals or couples?
Either way is fine. You can do this course on your own, or you can invite your partner to participate. Since you’ll have access to all course chapters and materials at any time, you can each use the same login and access the materials independently.
What if my partner won't participate?
You’ll benefit from the course whether or not your partner chooses to participate.
Will this course tell me whether to stay or leave?
The course will offer you a structured path to a decision. What that decision is, is up to you. What the course provides is clarity.
How long does the course take?
You do the course at your own pace. The videos in the five chapters add up to about an hour and a half, but the course also leads you through tasks that will take careful thought and reflection.
You could complete it in a few hours, or you might prefer to pause between sections and do the course over a few days or longer. You can always revisit parts of the course as needed.
What if I've already tried therapy?
Many people who do this course have already tried therapy, or are currently in therapy when they do the course. The course will help you focus and clarify what’s going on and why you’ve been stuck. That can make therapy more effective.
Is my enrollment completely private and confidential?
Yes. Your encrypted enrollment, account creation, and checkout process are handled securely, privately, and discreetly through the Thinkific course platform. Course enrollments are treated as sensitive clinical information, protected by legal and ethical constraints.
What if the course isn’t the right fit for me? Do you offer a refund?
Yes. I want you to feel completely secure in your decision to begin healing. If you dive into the modules and realize the frameworks aren’t a good fit for your specific situation, simply email me within 14 days of your purchase. I will issue a full refund.
You don't have to force yourself into certainty.
If you’ve spent months—or years—trying to decide what to do, you already know that pushing harder rarely brings greater clarity.
This course offers a different approach.
Rather than trying to convince yourself to stay or leave, you’ll learn a structured framework for understanding the decision more clearly, so that whatever you ultimately choose is grounded in careful thinking rather than panic.
Course Refund & Satisfaction Policy
I want you to feel confident in your decision to enroll.
If, within the first 14 days, you don’t believe the course is helping you, simply let me know (email bruce@brucechalmer.com) and I’ll refund your purchase.
