Are You Ready for Couples Sessions?
What To Expect
The Path To Healing
What, Not How
It's Not About Communication
In my book, It’s Not About Communication, I present the basic idea that the problems you are having are almost always not about communication. And if you think couples therapy should be about giving you tools to communicate better, you’re probably wrong.
People tend to follow communication rules when they’re doing well. But trying to follow the rules when you’re not doing well won’t make you do well. In fact, when a couple isn’t doing well, in the sense that they’re frequently in panic mode with each other, they find it impossible to follow the rules.
The solution you need is to be able to hear each other, and be honest with each other, without clicking into panic mode. That’s not easy! But that’s what couples therapy can help you with.
Check out the Common Questions section below on this page. Then click on “Schedule a Couples Session.” We’ll be in touch promptly–I actually respond to messages, almost always the same day.
Common Questions - Please read before scheduling a session using the button below
45, 60, 75, or 90 minutes. You determine how long the session will be, in consultation with Dr. Chalmer.
Dr. Chalmer offers sessions on a self-pay basis (he doesn’t bill insurance companies).
If his standard rates are unaffordable for you, Dr. Chalmer offers a sliding scale for 45-minute sessions–just ask him about it.
Dr. Chalmer can provide you with a statement you can use that allows you to use an HSA, FSA, or similar plan to reimburse yourself, or submit to insurance in case they offer reimbursement for out-of-network care. Consult your employer or financial advisor for information.
You and Dr. Chalmer determine together how often to schedule sessions. Some couples come weekly or every other week at first, and then transition to less frequent sessions. There’s no fixed pattern.
Dr. Chalmer is bound by confidentiality, and takes that responsibility very seriously. This means he does not communicate with anyone in a way that might identify you, without your explicit consent.
There are some legal exceptions to confidentiality: If Dr. Chalmer has reason to suspect child abuse, or abuse of a vulnerable adult, he is required to report that to the appropriate state agency. If Dr. Chalmer thought anyone he is working with might be a danger to self or others, he might have to break confidentiality to deal with an emergency situation. Of course, if you have any questions, contact Dr. Chalmer.
The fees for each session are as follows:
- 45-minute session: Sliding scale, based on what you can afford–just ask about it
- 60-minute session: $275
- 75-minute session: $325
- 90-minute session: $365
There’s no way to know in advance how many sessions you’ll need. Some couples are able to make the changes they’re looking for in just a few sessions, and some require more.
All sessions are by telehealth, using HIPAA-compliant software. The two of you can be in the same room, or in two different locations, which sometimes makes scheduling sessions more convenient.
If you cancel a session within 48 hours of its scheduled time, you can be charged the full fee for the session. No refund will be made for time not used if a session ends before its scheduled time.
Before you schedule an appointment, please see information about fees and policies above on this page. Once you’ve decided to schedule a session, please use the button below to fill out a signup form. Dr. Chalmer will contact you, usually the same day.