Frustrated in Your Relationship? This Book Will Give You Hope!

Front cover of "It's Not About Communication!"

How do you feel about your relationship?

How’s your intimate life, emotionally, sexually, or otherwise? Are you feeling stuck? Hurt? Angry?

You’re not alone–and you’re not crazy! And there’s hope–you can feel better.

Hopeful couple

You don’t have to feel stuck!

When you read It’s Not About Communication!, you’ll learn:

  • Why practicing communication rules and techniques is wasting your time
  • How a simple seven-word formula can guide you toward healing, growth, and passionate connection
  • Why a mindset of faith—not necessarily religious—is the key to feeling better, getting unstuck, and finding hope
  • How to decide if your couples therapy is helping—and what to do if it isn’t
  • Why ideas open possibilities, and ideologies shut down possibilities—and why that’s important for couples therapy
  • Why your couples therapist’s advice is probably useless—and what you really need from your therapist
  • Why couples therapy is a lot like improv theater
Happy couple in bed

Written in a relatable and sometimes irreverent style, It’s Not About Communication! will  help you understand the problems you’re having–and help you get on the path to solving them. Whether you’re in couples therapy, thinking about it, or want to solve your problems on your own, this book will give you hope, calm you down, and point you in the right direction.

And if you’re a couples therapist yourself, this book will inspire you to work with your clients rather than on them–and help you regain that sense of dedication and purpose that led you to become a therapist in the first place.

Order your copy today!

Available in paperback here, or anywhere books are sold.

Or get it as an eBook, or as an audiobook narrated by Dr. Chalmer.

Whether you’re looking to improve your own relationship, or helping others improve theirs, It’s Not About Communication! will guide and inspire you. Get your copy today–you’ll be glad you did!

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Leanne AbrahamExecutive and Team Coach
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I recently bought your books. I am an executive and team coach in the corporate world and really appreciate your 7 words – I give you full credit (hopefully my corporate folks turn to you for some marriage support) for the seven words and link it to the Issues Clearing model (from Non Violent communication) that I teach in my leadership training and coaching. I often add in Brene Brown’s Braving – another great acronym. I love your writing style – it is very warm and personal. I feel your character coming through in the words.
Dr. Alyson NerenbergAuthor, Psychologist
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Compassionate and informative, along with using a bit of humor, Dr. Chalmer shares his wealth of knowledge that comes from years of treating couples. I recommend this book to both therapists and couples alike who are looking for a roadmap of the couples therapy process.
[Name redacted]Former client
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Congrats Dr. Bruce on making the #1 bestseller list. I bought 20 copies of the book and gave it to everyone. [We] worked with you a few years ago. We moved to [redacted] and are loving it. You’ve been such a beautiful part of our journey. You deserve all the goodness and success the world has to offer.
Susan BrattonIntimacy Expert
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If you’re stuck in your relationship this book may be the catalyst you need to have the relationship you want.
Jeremy ShermanAuthor
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Unlike so much of the help on offer these days, Chalmer offers an engagingly and endearingly clear path to this way to feel at home in the universe. A breakthrough book for couples ready at long last to brave reality in all of its paradoxical splendor.
Dr. Paul FoxmanAuthor, Psychologist
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Based on three key ideas and illustrated with case examples from clinical practice, Chalmer highlights the steps to lasting change. A worthy resource for both couples and therapists who want to be effective.
Jane KastPsychologist
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Whether you are a client or a clinician, Dr. Bruce Chalmer’s latest book, It’s Not About Communication! offers spectacular insight into the often bumpy landscape of couples therapy. Dr. Chalmer invites the reader to consider the effects of believing in the wisdom of our clients and how this fosters a sense of hope and collaboration.
Nancy Walker, MFAReviewer
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Dr. Chalmer has a unique and approachable way of getting his message across that I love. He gives a deeper understanding of the concept of communication by providing real-world examples, questions to give the reader a guided way to think about the material, and references for those who want to explore deeper. I love how Dr. Chalmer's humor makes what could be a hard to read topic enjoyable to discover. He parses out the ideas from the ideologies and helps the reader to see through common myths in communication. I enjoyed this book and look forward to reading his other works.
[Name redacted]Former client
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Things that you said during our sessions still help me today. And I just downloaded the audio version of your book!
Dr. Bruce Chalmer

About the Author

Dr. Bruce Chalmer is a psychologist in Vermont who has been working with couples for over thirty years. Through his teaching, consulting, writing, podcast, and videos about relationships, his ideas have helped thousands of couples and their therapists.

He has served in leadership positions in several Vermont Jewish communities, and is also a musician, composer, and choral director. He lives with his wife Judy Alexander in South Burlington. They have five adult children and six grandchildren.

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