Reigniting the Spark cover

Create a Relationship that Lasts

Dr. Bruce Chalmer’s Reigniting the Spark shows you how to build a lasting relationship full of passion and fulfillment. You’ll learn how to improve your communication, have better sex, and avoid pointless arguments. Dr. Chalmer combines his expertise in science with thirty years of experience as a couples therapist to show how you can restore intimacy and overcome relationship problems to create and maintain a lively, loving, lasting relationship.

He offers a unique perspective on the role of faith—not necessarily religious—in relationships. Whatever your faith background, religious or secular, Dr. Chalmer’s approach to faith as a key to unlocking intimacy will inform and inspire you.

This book explores the most common issues that sap the happiness out of a relationship and shows you what to do to turn it around. Written in a relatable and easy-to-understand style, Reigniting the Spark will help you better understand yourself and your partner so you can both be more satisfied.

Peggy Sax
Peggy SaxPsychologist, Executive Director of Re-Authoring Teaching
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Reading this book is like breathing fresh Vermont air-refreshing, inspiring, down-to-earth, and filled with grounded wisdom that emerges from decades of practice as a therapist with hundreds of couples. Dr. Chalmer gives a message of hope infused with principles and skills for long-term relationships to survive and thrive in the 21st century. Seven easy-to-remember words guide his approach: "Be kind, don't panic, and have faith." Throughout, Dr. Chalmer tells composite stories from real-life couples in his practice and then reinforces themes with reflective questions at the end of each chapter. I am especially inspired by his willingness to bring spiritual lives--religious and nonreligious-into the conversation, exploring with couples what matters most to each of them, while dealing with life's inevitable uncertainties and struggles.
RoxyAmazon review
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Happily married for 13 years, I wasn't sure what this book would offer to me and my spouse. As it turns out, quite a bit! I came to realize how easy it is to fall into complacency and "relationship laziness" to avoid conflict, and how that can lead to stagnation. Through the examples of many couples he has counseled, Dr. Chalmer explores constructive methods of resolving disagreements and enhancing communication. This book is not just for people in troubled situations, but for anyone who is seeking a higher level of satisfaction with their partner.
Jennifer A. Schwartz
Jennifer A. SchwartzAmazon review
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“Be Kind, Don’t Panic, and Have Faith.” This is the simple seven-word formula used by Dr. Bruce Chalmer in his work as a couples’ therapist. Spoiler alert: it really does take the whole book to examine what this truly means, but it’s a worthwhile examination that will have you looking at any issues you are facing in your relationship in new ways. In Reigniting the Spark, Chalmer uses clear examples of struggles that couples face – such as infidelity, loss of intimacy, and problems in their sex lives – to illuminate the ways in which our desire for stability and our desire for intimacy are at odds with each other. We want to have relationships that we can depend on, but we also want the excitement and anxiety produced by intimacy. While this could be a recipe for disaster, he outlines the ways that healthy couples can balance these two extremes in satisfying ways.
KathleenAmazon review
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I enjoyed reading and learned more from this book than I expected to. The format and structure of the book makes it easy to pick up and put down. Some chapters evoke reflection and discussion introducing aspects of a relationship that are rarely examined. Some spouses assume that if the other partner communicated better, the marriage will be better. Will this book solve all of your intimacy issues? Probably not, however, you will find comfort in the fact that many couples are just like you and this book will provide discussion points to reclaim and improve on your relationship. This book will make a great Book Club Book pick, many discussion points and relatable at any age and years married. Definitely a recommended read!
Kissablysweet1Amazon review
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This is a guide to help couples who may feel as though the fire is gone. They feel their relationship needs a punch. " Be kind, don't panic and have faith". You probably know what needs to be fixed, this book will help you along the way and keep you motivated. Both of you need to work on the relationship issues. One person can't fix it. Well written in simple terms, this book is a winner. I love that it doesn't do the work for you. Both parties were working together but separately when things began to break down. This wonderful guide will give you the tools to fix the issues. I think it's lovely that Dr. Chalmer shared this toolbox with the world. It's truly needed. Perhaps it will save many couples now that it's available. Get your Copy!
Rabbi David Edleson
Rabbi David EdlesonTemple Sinai, Vermont
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I learned so much from this book that I can use in counseling couples, a significant part of my work as a rabbi. Far from being simplistic or reductionist, this book brings a complex and multi-faceted approach to how choice, kindness, and faith can help heal relationships and bring greater meaning and vitality to life. Dr. Chalmer is refreshing in his focus on character, the habits of kindness, and the disciplines of stability, rather than focusing solely on feelings as so many other books have. Whether you're a believer or agnostic, this book will help clinicians and clients alike consider deeply how faith, something so often overlooked in session, can be effectively integrated into an effective approach to healing relationships.
Debbie Haupt
Debbie HauptThe Reading Frenzy
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Dr. Chalmer’s book, Reigniting The Spark focuses on couples in some really unique and refreshing ways and his mantra is a seven-word phrase that he uses with all of his couples “Be Kind Don’t Panic and Have Faith”. In his over thirty years in practice Dr. Chalmer has helped numerous couples and over those decades those couples and their problems helped him create his seven-word formula. Throughout the book Dr. Chalmer gives his readers advice on how to improve their relationships he uses composite couples that he’s helped over the years. In each chapter he covers a specific issue and demonstrates through his couples what to do and what not to do implementing his principles....Whether or not you need guidance or counseling, whether or not your part of an opposite sex or same sex relationship Dr. Chalmer’s book has something for everyone.
Diane C. Acosta
Diane C. AcostaReviewer
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In a very important part of the book, Dr. Chalmer mentions a word that I did not think a couples therapist could mention: FAITH. And the explanation given about it in this book is so interesting, so (at least to me) new, which is precisely why I recommend that everyone read this book.
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This book is concise,…but it is so well written that it feels like we are sitting in his office or laying on his couch, talking about what we want and asking how we can get there. He shows us how to lay a foundation for intimacy and trust that will connect us to our partner for years to come. He also makes us take a look at all the reasons we should and shouldn’t get married. And if you’re already embroiled with a cheater? Well, he shows us how to navigate that situation too, and decide whether or not a fractured relationship is worth salvaging or whether we should simply walk away.
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I was hooked on this book from the very first sample I read of it. I appreciated that [Dr. Chalmer] doesn’t shy away from difficult topics like sex, trauma, and anxiety in relationships and that he acknowledges the difficulties those situations present in maintaining relationships. I’ve even recommended this book to someone for precisely that reason.... I really appreciated this book and am even implementing a few things into my own marriage. I give Reigniting the Spark five stars.

You don’t have to feel stuck!

When you read Reigniting the Spark, you’ll learn:

  • How to build and restore intimacy, trust, and a deep connection in your relationship
  • How to identify triggering issues like trauma that could be sapping the joy out of your relationship, and what to do about it
  • A list of bad reasons people get married—and one good one
  • How to go from plain old sex, to good sex, to sacred sex
  • How to be your best self when your partner has been unfaithful
  • How to know when to break up, and when to work through the inevitable growing pains in your relationship

Written in a relatable style, Reigniting the Spark will  help you understand the problems you’re having–and help you get on the path to solving them. Whether you’re in couples therapy, thinking about it, or want to solve your problems on your own, this book will give you hope, calm you down, and point you in the right direction.

Reigniting the Spark is for any couple who’s ready to create a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.

Order your copy today!

Available in paperback here, or anywhere books are sold.

Or get it immediately as an eBook, or as an audiobook narrated by Dr. Chalmer.

Whether you’re looking to improve your own relationship, or helping others improve theirs, Reigniting the Spark will guide and inspire you. Get your copy today–you’ll be glad you did!

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